When we give to receive:

Quite often the reason we give to others or act to benefit them in some way is because it makes us feel good or better about ourselves. If there is something that we feel is broken in ourselves we can almost look to our acts of giving to others as a way of gaining some form of redemption. The fact that we are consciously or unconsciously looking to gain something from our act of giving in this way does not invalidate the act of giving, but it makes us aware of two things:

• Acts of giving can be as much acts of the ego as any other type of action in our life
• Acts of giving are also acts of receiving, by giving to another we receive certain feelings (Eg: Feeling good about ourselves or taking our mind away from the unresolved areas of our life) as a “payback”.

On giving when we receive:

If you are the sort of person who finds it easy to give in the above way, you may also find yourself not allowing others to give to you. Your way of gaining the love and acceptance of others is through giving, so when others act to give to you there may be a certain resistance to “receiving” their act of giving, because you feel uncomfortable to be the receiver of, let’s say kindness and consideration rather than the giver of it.

We know how much joy you can feel when you give to others. So, if you think about it, one of the greatest acts of giving that you can provide for others is by learning to receive their acts of kindness, giving and service  toward you with grace and acceptance. By receiving the acts of kindness of others to us in this way we set up a sustainable cycle of the giving and receiving of love in our life that provides happiness for both ourselves and for others.

Backup exercise:

For the next week try and do one act of receiving each day, doing it gracefully and recognizing that your very act of receiving in this way is an act of giving to the other person. 

© Toby Ouvry 2010, you are welcome to use this article, but you MUST seek Toby’s permission first. Contact info@tobyouvry.com