I was listening to a talk the other night on “integral ethics”* (see link below), and one of the things that stood out for me was the section where they were discussing ethical or right speech. One of the participants quoted the Buddha:

“Say only that which is true, and that which is beneficial”

Superficially this seems like a simple statement, but if you try and do it in practice you rapidly realize that it is much more complex and demanding. For example, there are a lot of things we could say that are true (here we can take truth to mean “congruent with our own experience”) which may not in fact be beneficial. In my own experience as a counsellor and coach I can see many things in people, but if I told them too soon or at an inappropriate time, they might find it very unhelpful or even insulting!

Conversely, there are many situations when the most beneficial thing to say may not be true. For example if someone has cancer, and really values our opinion, perhaps it would be most beneficial for us not to tell them how slim their chances of survival may be, and talk optimistically, recognizing that what we saying may optimize the chances they do have.

The third observation here is that in final analysis, good as our intention may be, we never actually know FOR SURE whether what we say is going to be either a) The most beneficial thing to say OR b) Will turn out to be true in the final analysis. So there is always an element of ambiguity or uncertainty in the situation. 

To be mindful of our speech, and always try and say that which is true and beneficial is a demanding life practice that cannot give us certainties, but it can really help us see just how much power our speech can have, and help us continually refine our ideas of what the good and the true really are.

*This is a talk between Ken Wilber and Roger Walsh that you can listen to for free HERE

© Toby Ouvry 2010, please do not reproduce without permission