Seems like one of the central stress management challenges that we face in today’s society is how to cope with the sheer number of things that we find ourself having to do each day and all the different pulls on our energy. It can be very difficult not to have a busy mind when logistically there is so much to do in a limited timespan. This of course also has a knock on effect; even when we are not busy we find our mind is so restless that we find ourselves inventing things to keep us busy even when we could be relaxing and regenerating our energies a bit!

No more than two priorities in your day
So, in this article I want to explain one of the basic ways in which I manage my time and activity in a day. The first thing that I do when I am planning what to with a day is to isolate a list of NO MORE THAN TWO things that I really want/feel that I need to accomplish in that day. If it is a work day these goals will be based around work. If it is a weekend these two things may be to do with work, but I may also make a conscious decision to make the goals for the day relaxation based. So for example, whilst a work day list might read:
- Bring accounts up to date
- Write 1st chapter of Qi Gong book
A weekend list might be:
- Get some quality rest
- Spend decent playtime with daughter
So, there may be any number of other things that I want to do with my day, but I have isolated two top priorities which gives me clarity and vision regarding the day, and prevents me getting knocked off course by distractions. The decision in itself gives me a certain peace of mind, because I prioritized what is really the MOST IMPORTANT THING that I need to do, all of the other “do’s” are secondary to these, and can wait until the next day if necessary.
Two things is also usually manageable, so it means that most day I look back and I can see that I have focused on the things that I really wanted to focus on, and have for the most part accomplished them. Even if I do not accomplish them due to unforeseen difficulties, at least I know that I have focused my efforts in the place that I wanted to, which gives a certain feel-good factor, and also makes it easy to let go of things I genuinely tried to do, but just could not get finished for whatever reason.
Of course in any given day we all do more than two things, and in my workday or weekend I will do more than my two basic goals. However, all of the other things that I try to do or accomplish becomes a lot more playful and relaxed, if I get them done, great, if not, never mind, there is always tomorrow.
Having only two things as “must do’s” in the day also gives me a certain amount of freedom once they have been done, if I like can continue to work, but if I am genuinely tired or want to enter into a relaxed, regenerative period at some point in the day, I can make that decision easily, without feeling like I “have” to be doing something.

Applying the principle to meetings and coaching sessions
This technique is also one that I take into meetings and coaching sessions with clients and colleagues. Before a meeting or a coaching session I try and isolate one or two basic issues that we need to look at and reach decisions/communicate about etc…Within the meeting or coaching session inwardly I am always aware of these two priorities, which in turn enables me to relax and improvise a little, as I know that wherever the conversation leads, to get back on track I just need at some point to bring the two basic issues back up again. For example I went to a meeting the other day where I had two priorities
- Get feedback from the other members of the meeting regarding a proposal that I had made to them
- Get a basic timeframe for the accomplishing of the project that we were working on together

When I walked into the meeting, the energy was rather hyper and people were going in all sorts of directions at once. However, I did not find it difficult to keep centred because I had isolated the things that I wanted to focus on, and just waited for an appropriate time in the conversation (which was wide ranging!) to bring each of my goals up and get them done.

So, what I explain above is really very simple, but it requires mindfulness and discipline. The toughest thing you will find initially is that you will want to extend your list to at least four or five. Well, you have to compact those four or five into TWO AND ONLY TWO! It may be that you get all the five things done in your initial list, but you have to have clarity in your mind what the top two are, as this conscious choice will enable you to stay focused, relaxed and effective in getting them done amidst all the distractions and business.

How did I start doing this?
Early in my meditation teaching days in northern England I was given some abrupt feedback from a Irish Catholic lady who attended my class regarding my talks; “Say what you are going to say, then say it, then tell the audience what you have said!” I suspect she told this to the priests that she listened to on Sunday as well, but from that time on I started condensing the basic content of my talk into no more than that which could be summarized a sentence, or at the very maximum two. This enabled me to become a more effective speaker, and after a while “maximum two sentences for a talk” translated into “maximum two main goals for a day” and it has served me well since…

© Toby Ouvry 2010, please do not reproduce without permission. www.platinumlightworker.com